


we don't need to talk about this now

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:46:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when louis sees harry’s car parked in his driveway when he’s on his way home from work, he knows something’s up.</p><p>it’s not that he doesn’t like harry - god, no. he loves harry, for fucks sake. but harry doesn’t love louis and he doesn’t visit louis anymore. in fact, the last time louis got a visit from harry was two months ago at liam’s party. they were dancing and talking, and it slipped out. three simple words that ruined it all.</p><p>"i love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	we don't need to talk about this now

**Author's Note:**

> extreme fluff idk merry christmas dorks i love you
> 
> spanish translation [here](http://larryficstraducciones.tumblr.com/post/106015661170/no-tenemos-que-hablar-de-esto-ahora-one-shot) by the lovely [paola](http://givemealarrychristmas.tumblr.com/)

when louis sees harry’s car parked in his driveway when he’s on his way home from work, he knows something’s up.

it’s not that he doesn’t like harry -  _god_ , no. he  _loves_  harry, for fucks sake. but harry doesn’t love louis and he doesn’t visit louis anymore. in fact, the last time louis got a visit from harry was two months ago at liam’s party. they were dancing and talking, and it slipped out. three simple words that ruined it all.

"i love you."

of course harry freaked out and ran off, attempting to get away from the truth, like the coward he always was. but, louis can’t blame him. he can’t blame him for being horrified that his best mate loves him. he can blame him, though, for running off and ignoring louis for months with only two phone calls, tops.

but, now, harry’s here. and louis is  _scared_  because harry is harry and he hasn’t seen harry for a long time and now harry is  _here_  on christmas eve and louis has no idea why.

~

as he’s walking up the steps, louis can see the smooth, beautiful silhouette of harry, waiting inside his screen covered front porch. louis gulps, truly not wanting to confront the boy.

he makes sure to take his time, stepping soft footsteps in the snow, hoping to keep quiet. he does, too, until he’s finally at the gate and he’s forced to lift it, filling the empty streets with loud creaking. 

without a seconds notice, harry is spinning around, facing louis’ direction.

louis can’t exactly see harry’s face in the dim moonlight, but he can see enough to know that he’s not smiling - or frowning. he’s just standing, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets with his feet together, pointing to louis.

"hey," harry calls out, breaking the empty silence. his voice fills louis up like he’s missed. harry is all warm and sunshine and it’s like a fire spreading through the winter.

louis nods, hiding everything he’s got inside. as he walks up his steps, pulling the screen door back, he finally gets a good look at harry. it’s a little overwhelming, if he’s honest.

he never thought that seeing harry again would be so painful as it is. harry’s still got that cinnamon scent surrounding him, making it smell like home and christmas and  _harry_.

"hey," louis says back, his voice calm.

"i - uh, need to talk to you."

louis nods and walks to his door, pulling his keys from his front pocket. “come in,” is all he can say when he opens the door, standing to the side.

when the two are finally in the warmth with the christmas tree aglow, louis puts on some tea, hoping that harry wont stay long enough to want any.

"louis," harry begins, his voice full of anxiety that could be heard from a mile away. louis doesn’t like it because harry was always happy and brave but now he’s so vulnerable and louis doesn’t even know why.

"i don’t know where to start."

louis turns to face his friend who’s got his jacket on louis’ couch and his bottom lip between his teeth. louis takes a deep breath, blinking a few times.

"you were gone." louis voice manages to stay firm and clear even though louis is cracking a bit inside.

"you were gone for two months, and you left me. and after what i told you." 

louis is a bit surprised that he’s being so forward, and that  _these_  words are coming out of  _his_ mouth. harry is, too, because his jaw is falling slack and his eyes are filling with sadness.

"i know, louis, and that’s why i’m here."

louis freezes, his bones turning to stone and his muscles fermenting. it’s like he’s been dipped in cement, just from the few words.

"and i know you probably hate me from what i did-" louis cuts him off, his mouth reacting before his brain.

"i  _hate_  you? i fucking  _love_  you, and that’s why we’re in this shit! i was stupid enough to tell you, and that’s why we’re here. why i lost my  _best friend_. why i lost the one person i care most about. why i lost  _you_! so don’t you  _ever_  say i hate you, because even though you made me feel horrible about myself, i  _still_  love you. oh, and i’ve done it again! i went off and said my feelings,  _again_! so go ahead, harry - run out. you’re extraordinary at that.”

louis lets himself let a tear out, because he’s been holding so much in, and he’s finally let it out. everything that he’s felt - hate, love, sadness, regret - it’s all come out and there’s no way to shove it back in. and it all came out in front of harry. 

"louis," harry says, voice low and sorry and everything that louis fucking hates.

"i’m so, so sorry."

before louis knows what he’s doing he has harry’s arms wrapped around him, covering him up like a cocoon, and he’s sobbing into harry’s shoulder. he lets it happen, though, and he takes it in like if he doesn’t it’ll slip away and be gone forever. he takes in the cinnamon and the sadness and the  _harry_  of it all.

it’s therapeutic, he thinks, because it’s like every moment of harry that he’s missed in the past months he’s been gone are being filled and replaced, almost as if it didn’t happen. that’s the worst part, though, because it  _did_  happen; harry wasn’t there.

and he’s being reminded of it because harry is pulling away, taking a bit of louis’ heart with him.

"louis, i’m so fucking sorry i did what i did, but i can’t change what i did. and i’m not going to run. i’m not going to be a coward again.i need you, louis, and while i was gone i realized it."

louis stays silent, trying to calm his breathing.

"and a million apologies couldn’t capture to regret i have for what i did. i could stand here for the rest of my life, apologizing daily, but it still wouldn’t be enough. not for me, it wouldn’t."

louis is completely blank - his mind and his voice, it’s all just there and he doesn’t know what to do because he’s shocked.

"louis, i need you. i don’t deserve you, but i need you. and if you’ll let me, i want to be there for you, like i wasn’t before. just, please, louis. let me be there."

it feels like maybe, a galaxy away, in another universe, he’s sad. there’s another version of louis tomlinson, somewhere, sad and lonely and crying, all alone. but in this universe, louis thinks, i’m not alone anymore.

and he’s not.


End file.
